15> 1 nanosecond = the time between when you tell a child "no" and when he/she does it again
14> 1 Milli-second = time elapsed after the recorded audio track plays and before the singers move their lips at a "live" concert
13> 467 grams = what 2 grams of Haagen-Dazs will register on your bathroom scale
12> 1 centimeter = the distance Joan Rivers' eyebrows move up each year
11> 1 Molson = 2 Budweisers
10> 1.5 meters = the circumference around Anna Nicole's chest -- or her waist
9> 1 femtosecond = the time it takes a feminist to react to being called a "gal at the office"
8> 28 grams = start flushing if there's a loud knock on the door
7> 1 kilogram = the mass of the contents of your underpants the minute we go to terror threat condition red
6> 14 Renaults = 1 Chevy Silverado
5> 10,000 milligrams = the amount of sodium pentothal required to fell a rampaging Limbaugh
4> 1 tonne = 1 regular ton + 16 kilograms of European attitude
3> 1 liter = amount of gasoline purchased with a single unemployment check
2> 600 meters = the distance between any two Starbucks franchises
1> 1 hookernight = 1 kilodollar
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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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