The Top 15 Least Useful Scientific Experiments

15> Determining What Microwave Oven Setting Will Cause Dick Cheney's Implant to Perform the Drum Solo from "Wipeout"


14> If you hold up a 250 mile-tall drinking straw, will the vacuum of space suck out the atmosphere through the straw into space?


13> Discovering the Human Factor Behind Termination of Canine Incarceration: Who Let the Dogs Out?


12> Determining the Optimal Environment for Belly Button Lint Growth


11> Supersaturation: How Many Items Can Appear On A 5-Item List?


10> Jennifer Lopez's Ass: Particle or Wave?


9> Determining Genetic Combination of Radically Different Morphologies (aka Why Cameron Diaz Should Have Sex With Me)


8> Does Jay Leno's jaw get bigger as David Letterman's hair recedes?


7> Classification and Measurement of Arbo-Rectal Implants: How Far Up Tom DeLay's Ass Does That Stick Really Go?


6> Marmota Monax and Forest Product Propulsion: Just Exactly How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck?


5> Detecting the Chemical Composition of Mike Tyson Just Before His Next Fight


4> Measuring the Cheez Whiz Capacity of MC Hammer's Pants


3> The Avian Defecation/Automotive Cleanliness Nexis: A Study in the Guano Production as a Function of "Car Wash" Proximity


2> Monkeys, Jerry Springer Guests and Typewriters: Is "Hamlet" in Their Future?


1> T'n'A Sequencing


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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]