The Top 14 Things Overheard in Seattle This Week

14> "Send a message to those capitalist bastards! Come to Two-for-One Day at Stan's Brick Emporium!"


13> "I don't really give a crap -- I'm just warming up for the New Year's Day Y2K riots."


12> "Citizens! Disperse and go home, or Brother Gates will be angry!"


11> "The Brown & Williamson IPO is bad, people. Do NOT invest in the Brown & Williamson IPO."


10> "Gap is crap! Gap is crap! Gap is... Hey, cool chinos!"


9> "I was speaking figuratively when I said the WTO should go 'where the sun don't shine.'"


8> "Launch the chalupa!"


7> "No, Governor Bush, Stone Cold Steve Austin is not the head of the WTO. Guess again."


6> "You got tear gas in my mocha latte!"


"You got mocha latte in my tear gas!"


5> "I haven't seen this many badly dressed people since Courtney Love's wedding."


4> "I'm sorry Mr. Clinton, but the WTO rejects your proposal to 'trade saliva with that Chinese girl'."


3> "Ken Griffey sucks! Ken Griffey sucks! Ken Grif-- AAAAGGGHH, MY EYES!!!"


2> "Attention, consumers: Put down your weapons NOW -- and visit the fantastic 12-hour curfew sale going on at Old Navy!"


1> "Mr. Hoffa, we're prepared to negotiate. Could you meet us at the Kingdome, say, around 2am?"


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[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]