14> His idea of bling bling is a huge belt buckle with a picture of Hank Williams Jr. on it.13> Raises her hands way up in the air, and -- gross, what the hell is all that hair?12> Thinks Ice-T is a drink, Saran is the best rap and Harvard is "old school."11> Never fails to point out that unlike real M&Ms, your Eminem has little or no color whatsoever.10> "Aaaaaaah! Don't they realize how bad that is for the album, let alone the record player?!?"9> Oh, he samples all right -- but just the cocktail weenies at Price Club.8> Thinks teens with crooked hats, falling-down pants, untied shoes, puffy coats on hot days and incomprehensible speech are special-ed kids.7> The constant snickering is lost upon your boss, Mr. Moe Feauxshisel.6> "Why are all of these songs about dogs?"5> Trying desperately to fit in, he keeps erroneously referring to the women at the office as "hos" when they're *clearly* bitches.4> Sentences in his memos rarely contain more than five Zs.3> Thinks "bling bling" is one of those pandas they want to mate at the zoo.2> She's afraid she'll get fired for sexual harassment if she talks about her posse.1> His constant discussions of Ol' Dirty Bastard all seem to be directed at his father. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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