The Top 12 Bad Things About Being A Headless Horseman

12> Friggin' sunglasses keep falling off your neck.

11> "Bad hair days" replaced by much scarier "bad jugular" days.

10> Always get disqualified for missing the first jump in the steeple chase.

9> Headless sex.

8> Cognitive thought with just a spinal cord is like trying to... trying to... DAMMIT!

7> Rectal bong hits just not the same.

6> That doofus in wardrobe uses a staple gun to keep your cape in place.

5> Forced to list your height as 5'2" on your driver's license.

4> The subtle joy of picking your nose while driving is gone forever.

3> Have to sneeze through your ass.

2> Hard to achieve that Limp Bizkit look with your red Yankees cap wedged in your armpit.

1> When you wear a party hat, you just look like a dork.

[ The Top 5 List ]

[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

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