Three blokes, all named Paddy, are down by the seashore one day when they spot a mermaid off in the distance.
The English Paddy says to his mates "watch this". He saunters over to the mermaid and asks "Excuse me, have you ever been kissed before?" She replies "Why no", whereupon he proceeds to kiss her. She giggles excitedly, flattered. The English Paddy comes back to his mates to gloat.
The Scottish Paddy then says, "That's nothing, watch this", whereupon HE slides over to the mermaid to ask "Excuse me, have you ever had your breasts fondled before?". She giggles shyly again and responds "Why no!", whereupon he proceeds to fondle her breasts. She responds excitedly and laughs. The Scottish Paddy heads back to his mates to recant the experience.
The Irish Paddy responds saying "That's nothing, watch this." He now sidles over to the mermaid and asks "Excuse me, have you ever been FUCKED before?" She exclaims "Why no!" Whereupon the Irish Paddy says "Well you have now, because the tide has gone out!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.