The stalker

A woman had a stalker who always was bugging her to have sex with him. The woman eventually grew tired of his constant begging and thought of a way to get rid of him.

"Before I have sex with you, you must buy me a diamond necklace with matching diamond earrings"

To her surprise, the stalker returned the very next day with a beautiful diamond necklace and matching earrings as she requested. The woman responded with a task she thought her stalker could surely not accomplish.

"Before I have sex with you, I want you to buy me a brand new Porsche."

The woman was stunned as the man returned the next day in a brand new Porsche convertible . The woman quickly thought of an excuse to avoid having sex with the stranger.

"Im sorry but I can only have sex with someone who has a 12 inch penis." she explained.

The woman felt relieved as her stalker walked away. To her astonishment, the man returned half an hour later, weeping, with a pair of bloody scissors in hand, and his pants around his ankles with the remainder of his penis wrapped in bandages.

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