The Spoon

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant,
'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took
our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils,
I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons
in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our
soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired
Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.
After several months of analysis, they concluded that the
spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately
3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce
the number of trips back to the kitchen and save
15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he
replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next
time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra
trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging
out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the
same string hanging from their flies. So, before he
walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can
you tell me why you have that string right there?'

"Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice.
'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I
mentioned also learned that we can save time in the
restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what,
we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the
need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in
the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others,
but I use the spoon.'