A cardinal rushes into the pope's quarters. "Holy Father, Holy Father! I have some good news and some bad news for you!"
The pope requests he give the good news first.
"I've just received a phone call from Jesus and he has returned to Earth to gather the redeemed for the rapture!"
The pope leaps from his chair in joy. "This is the greatest news in history! What bad news could you have that could possibly overcome my joy!"
"He was calling from Salt Lake City"
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