A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eye patch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that peg leg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the First World War.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eye patch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird
crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hooks.
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