The Pharmacist Insulted Me!

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband
was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the
pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the pharmacist and demand an
apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him,
"Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to
go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to
the car, but I'll be darned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car
keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast,
I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store, I had a flat
tire. When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for
me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and
all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll
of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change and they spilled all
over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the
phone is still ringing - when I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash
drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume
bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still
ringing with no let up; I finally got back to answer it.
It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well,
Mister, I TOLD HER!!!"