The Outhouse Mouse (NSFW)

Ole and Lena lived up north and still didn't have indoor plumbing. Instead they had an outhouse, in which lived the outhouse mouse. One day Lena had to use the bathroom so she bundled up, went to the outhouse, dropped her trousers and did her business. Lena is terrified of mouses, so when she saw the outhouse mouse peek its head from under the door, she let out a blood curdling scream. The scream frightened the mouse so he scurried up her thigh and crawled up in her ladyparts before Lena could get her trousers back up. She went running back into the house, screaming with her pants half down, saying, "Ole! Ole! The outhouse mouse has crawled up inside of my virginny. You gotta help me!"

Ole, not knowing what to do, called the local doctor to inform him of their predicament. The doctor said, "I can't come to help you right now. I'm delivering the Olsen's baby. But here's what you do. You get Lena to sit with her legs open, get a piece of cheese and put it a few inches away from the, um, opening. When that outhouse mouse pops his head out to grab that cheese, you whack him in the head with a mallet. I'll be there as soon as I can."

An hour later, the doctor drops by Ole and Lena's house to see how they're doing. Sure enough Lena is sitting with her legs apart and Ole is hovering over her with a mallet poised to strike. But instead of cheese, there's a can of tuna fish a few inches away from Lena's "opening."

The doctor says, "Ole didn't you hear what I told ya? Tuna fish isn't going to work. You gotta use cheese. Mice love cheese!"

Ole replies, "I did exactly what you said, doc. I got a piece of cheese sitting right there. At first, nothing. But then the outhouse mouse poked his nose out. Then I could see his ears. He inched out a bit more so I could see his front feet. He was just about all the way out and I was about to whack him good when the cat came around the corner. Now it's a whole new ballgame."