A cow herder goes to a vet one day looking for advice one day because he can't get his cows to mate and breed.
Man: Well doc, I've been trying all spring and summer and I haven't had any success.
Doc: Try this when you get home. Go up to the female cow and stick your thumb in her vagina. Then rub it all over the males nose.
The man heads back home and heads over to his cows. He walks up to the female and sticks his thumb right up in there. Walks over to the male and rubs it all over his nose. Sure enough, withing seconds, the male gets excited and heads over to the females and starts doing its thing.
Later that night, the man is in his bed next to his sleeping wife and thinks to himself that if it worked for the cows, it would work for him. Without waking her, he carefully sticks his thumb in his wife's vagina, then rubs it all over his nose. Sure enough, within seconds he has a huge erection. He decides to wake up his wife.
Man: Honey! Look at this. This is amazing.
Wife: You woke me up to show me your bloody nose?
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