(This one is usually better if acted out)
A man who recently lost his hand opts for the latest and greatest voice controlled prosthetic option. The surgery is a smashing success and after the meds wear off, he walks to the bathroom to try it out.
"Well unzip me and pull it out", he says, and to his astonishment, the hand kicks into action and does exactly as it's told. After relieving himself, he realizes no one else is around so he says "Well, play with it a little bit". Again, he's surprised because the hand does exactly as it's told, so for a last test he says, "Just jerk it off".
The hand instantly rips the man's penis off. He shouts "OH FUCK ME!", so the hand begins forcefully inserting the freshly removed member into his rear. A nearby nurse hears the shouting and walks in to exclaim "OH GOD, LOOK AT THAT SHIT!". The hand, still following commands, shoves the contents of it's grasp repeatedly into the man's eyes knocking him unconscious.
Upon awakening, the man opts for the basic prosthetic model.
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