The Moral of the Story

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next
day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Katy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying
hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on
the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the
eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put
all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher.

"Lucy, now you."

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat
market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only
got ten live chicks. And the moral of this story is, don't count your
chickens until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle
Bob was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out
over enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine
gun and machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He
killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of
bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the
blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."