The monk joke.

All credit goes to my Spanish teacher, Mr. Garcia.

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So, a man goes on a trip to the mountains in an Eastern European country to see the sights.

One dark and stormy night he was traveling back to his hotel when his car died. He got out of the car and opened the hood. He checked everything he could think of and couldn't find what was wrong. He pulled out his phone and discovered he had no service. He looked around and noticed an old monastery nestled in a valley between two mountains. He decided it was his best shot and walked up and knocked on the big front door.

A monk opened the door and asked "Yes my child?" the man proceeded to explain that his car broke down and wondered if the monk could help. The monk explained to the man that there were 2 monks at the monastery who used to be mechanics, the monk then told the man to come in and eat dinner with them while the monks worked on his car. The man agreed and ate wonderful homemade soup and homemade bread with the monks. The head monk came to the man at the end of dinner and told him that his car wouldn't be ready till morning, but they had a free room that he could sleep him. The man agreed and after a few moments, the head monk lead the man to his room.

The man laid in the most comfortable bed he had ever been in and quickly fell asleep. In the middle of the night he awoke to the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. He couldn't identify what the noise was. The noise eventually stopped and the man laid back down and went quickly back to sleep. In the morning the head monk tapped on his door and told the man that his car was ready. The man thanked him and asked "What was that beautiful noise I heard last night?" the head monk apologized to the man and explained "I am sorry, but I cannot tell you, for you are not a monk." the man tried again but the monk told him once again that he could not tell him. The man was disappointed but moved on with his life and went home.


10 years later he decided that he had such a great time in the mountains of Eastern Europe he would go back.

Then, one dark and stormy night the man was traveling back to his hotel when his car died. He got out of the car and opened the hood. He checked everything he could think of and couldn't find what was wrong. He pulled out his phone and discovered he had no service. He looked around and noticed the old monastery nestled in the valley between two mountains. The man realized that he had been here before. He decided that the monks had helped him before, maybe they'd help him again.

A monk opened the door and asked "Yes my child?" the man proceeded to tell the monk that he had been there 10 years previous and his car died then, and his car died again and asked if the monk could help. The monk invited the man in for dinner while the former mechanics looked at his car. The man agreed and ate the wonderful homemade soup and the wonderful homemade bread with the monks once again. The head monk came to the man at the end of dinner and told him that his car wouldn't be ready till morning, but they had a free room that he could sleep him. The man agreed and the head monk lead the man to his room.

The man opened the door and realized it was the same room. The man laid in the most comfortable bed he had laid in for ten years and quickly fell asleep. In the middle of the night he awoke once again to the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. He couldn't identify what the noise was. The noise eventually stopped and the man laid back down and went back to sleep. In the morning the head monk tapped on his door and told the man that his car was ready. The man thanked him and asked "I'm sorry but I have to ask, what was that beautiful noise I heard last night?" the head monk apologized to the man and explained once again "I am sorry, but I cannot tell you, for you are not a monk." the man tried again and again but the monk told him once again that he could not tell him. The man was disappointed and slightly angered but moved on with his life and went home.


Ten years later he decided to go back to Eastern Europe once again.

Then, on the last dark and stormy night the man was there, he was traveling back to his hotel when his car died once again. He got out of the car and opened the hood. He checked everything he could think of and couldn't find what was wrong. He pulled out his phone and discovered he had no service. He looked around and noticed the old monastery nestled in the valley between two mountains. The man realized that he had been here before. He decided that the monks had helped him before, maybe they'd help him again.

A monk opened the door and asked "Yes my child?" the man proceeded to tell the monk that he had been there 10 years previous and 20 years previous and his car died then, and his car died again and asked if the monk could help. The monk invited the man in for dinner while the former mechanics looked at his car. The man agreed and ate the wonderful homemade soup and the wonderful homemade bread with the monks once again. The head monk came to the man at the end of dinner and told him that his car wouldn't be ready till morning, but they had a free room that he could sleep him. The man agreed and the head monk lead the man to his room.

The man opened the door and realized it was the same room. The man laid in the most comfortable bed he had laid in for ten years and quickly fell asleep. In the middle of the night he awoke once again to the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. He couldn't identify what the noise was. The noise eventually stopped and the man laid back down and went back to sleep. In the morning the head monk tapped on his door and told the man that his car was ready. The man thanked him and asked "I'm sorry but I have to ask, what was that beautiful noise I heard last night?" the head monk apologized to the man and explained once again "I am sorry, but I cannot tell you, for you are not a monk." the man tried again and again but the monk told him once again that he could not tell him. The man was disappointed and slightly angered but moved on with his life and decided to go home. As the man opened his car door he turned around and knocked on the door again.

The head monk answered "Yes my child?" and the man said that he had to know what the noise was. The monk explained once again "I'm sorry but I cannot tell you, for you are not a monk." The man would not take no for an answer this time and asked the head monk what it would take to become a monk. The head monk told the man to go out and count every blade of grass on earth. And the man looked at the head monk and decided it was worth it.

For 10 long years the man traveled the world counting every blade of grass. He counted in yards, he looked in fields, and he even found some in laboratories. Sometimes the wind would blow and he'd have to start all over again and sometimes people would be mowing the grass and he'd get confused by the clippings. The man eventually found what he was sure was the correct number of blades of grass on Earth.

The man returned to the monastery and knocked on the door, the head monk answered the door "Yes my child?" the man handed the monk the count of the blades of grass and the monk looked over it and said "Yes my child, you are correct." The man jumped for joy and asked "So I'm a monk now?" and the monk said "No my child, I am sorry but you are not yet a monk, first you must count every grain of sand on Earth."

For 10 long years the man traveled the world counting every grain of sand. He counted in sandboxes, he looked in the vast deserts, and he even looked at the golf courses. Sometimes the wind would blow and he'd have to start all over again and sometimes the water would wash away the sand at the beaches. The man eventually found what he was sure was the correct number of grains of sand on Earth.

The man returned to the monastery and knocked on the door, the head monk answered the door "Yes my child?" the man handed the monk the count of the grains of sand and the monk looked over it and said "Yes my child, you are correct." The man jumped for joy and asked "So I'm a monk now?" and the monk said "No my child, I am sorry but you are not yet a monk, first you must count all the stars in the sky." The man was angry, but decided it was worth it.

For 10 long years the man traveled the world counting every star in the sky. He counted every night. Sometimes he would lose track and sometimes he'd fall asleep. The man eventually found what he was sure was the correct number of stars in the sky.

The man returned to the monastery and knocked on the door, the head monk answered the door "Yes my child?" the man handed the monk the count of the stars in the sky and the monk looked over it and said "Yes my child, you are correct." The man jumped for joy and asked "So I'm a monk now?" and the monk said "Yes my child." The man asked "Well what is the beautiful noise?" the monk told him that the noise is behind the large wooden door in the main hall.

The man went to the door and pulled on the door for hours, then the door popped slightly open. The man continued to pull on the door for 3 days and then the wooden door opened.

He looked inside and saw a larger bronze door. He began pulling on the bronze door and after the man pulled on the door for a week it creaked open slightly, he kept pulling on the door for a month at the end of the month the door was open enough for him to slip through.

He looked inside and saw an even larger silver door. He began pulling on the silver door and after the man pulled on the door for a month and it creaked open slightly, he kept pulling on the door for a year at the end of the year the door was open enough for him to slip through.

He looked inside and saw a still larger gold steel door. He began pulling on the steel door and after the man pulled on the door for a year it creaked open slightly, he kept pulling on the door for years and years at the end of the decade the door was open enough for him to slip through.

He looked inside and saw an incredibly large golden door. He began pulling on the gold door and after the man pulled on the door for a decade it creaked open slightly, after all of this a crowd began to form, wanting to see the man pulling on the door forever. He kept pulling on the door for 20 long years and eventually door was open enough for him to get through and it swung smoothly out the rest of the way.

And then he saw what was making the beautiful noise.

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Oh, I guess you want me to tell you what made the beautiful noise. But I cannot tell you, for you are not a monk.