The little red man joke.

The little red man joke was a bit of a running gag at my school, with each retelling the joke (to new kids and new teachers and other schools) it got longer and longer and more convoluted. so here is the abbreviated version of the one i used to tell.

The little white woman was busy baking a cake. Only as she reached around in her little white cupboards she realised she had no sugar for her little white cake.

Not to be disheartened she decided to wander next door to her neighbour, the little green man, to see if he would be kind enough to lend her some of his. So she closed her little white cupboards, grabbed her little white coat and went through her little white door, locking it behind her, walked down her little white stars to her little white path and out past her little white letterbox turning left to see the little green man.

The little green man was up a little green ladder painting his little green house the most amazing shade of green you have ever seen.
"Mr. Green" she shouted, "Do you have a cup of sugar i can borrow?" The little green man could not here her so he paced down his little green ladder and put down his little green bucket of paint and little green paintbrush and said "sorry? could you repeat that?"

"do you have a little cup of sugar i might borrow"

"I am sorry Ms. White but I am afraid not, i lent my sugar to Mr. Red as he is making his own beer, however he may have some left"

"Ah thank you Mr. Green" she said, and wandered back down his little green path, out his little white gate, noticing for the first time Mr. green did not have a little green letterbox, rather a little green slit in his little green door. (This point will be important later).

out she went walking back past her little white house and towards the traffic lights. Pressing the little silver button and waiting for the red crossing man to turn green before she crossed. As she waited she began thinking about how her day of easy baking a little white cake had turned into such as disaster, and the sun was beginning to heat up considerably.

The crossing signal turned green and so she wandered towards the little red man's house. Passing his little red letterbox, down his little red path and towards his little red door. The Little white woman knocked three times and waited for the little red man to open the door. but he did not.

So she knocked again, louder this time. perhaps he was filling his little red bottles with beer. But still no reply. She tries the little red door handle. The little red door opens. she walks into his little red living room, and shouts "Mr Red, Are you hoooome?"

"ill be down in a minute, I was just showering"

"not a problem" she calls back up stairs

The little red man emerges soon with a little red towel wrapped around his waist, little red chest hairs visible around his nipples.

"I was wondering if i might borrow a cup of sugar for my little white cake"

"ah no problem at all" said the little red man "you know i had to borrow some off The little green man across the road."

"yes he did mention it"

The little red man got a little red chair from his little red dining room and placed it in the kitchen next to the little red bench, then stepped onto the chair to reach his quite high little red cupboards.

"can you please pass me a little red cup" he asked as he opened the cupboards. the little white woman did so and as he turned to recieve the cup his towel fell clean off and onto the floor.

The little white woman was shocked! never had she been so humiliated and abashed in her life and so without another word turned on the spot and half marched half ran out of his little red house, down his little red path and across the road towards her little white house.

Where she was promptly hit by a Big yellow truck.

By the time the Paramedics arrived in there little blue van it was too late, the little white woman was dead. Which just goes to show, that you should never cross while the red man is flashing.