The janitor and the priest.

A janitor is cleaning a church near the confessional when the priest pokes his head out and motions for him to come over and says to him, "Listen. I really have to go to the bathroom. I need you to hear confessions for me while am away. I won't be long."

The janitor says, "But father, I would have no idea what penance to give out."

The priest replies, "Don't worry, there's a list on the wall that spells out what to give for each sin."

The janitor reluctantly agrees and takes over in the confessional.

The first person comes in and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been 2 months since my last confession and I lied."

The janitor scans the list, "lied, lied, lied...aha! Go say 5 Hail Mary's and 5 Our Fathers."

After thanking him the person leaves and the janitor thinks, "boy this is pretty easy."

The next person comes in and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been 8 months since my last confession and I committed an act of adultery."

"Adultery, adultery, adultery, aha! Go say 20 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Fathers."

Again the person thanks him and leaves. The next person comes in.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned and it has been 1 year since my last confession and I committed multiple acts of oral sex."

Scanning the list, "oral sex, oral sex, oral sex, oral sex...shit. It isn't on there."

In a panic he peaks out of the confessional and sees a couple of altar boys coming by and stops them. "Quick, boys, tell me, what does the father give out for oral sex?"

The altar boys reply, "Ahh, usually a bag of chips and a bottle of pop!"