The Hedgehog

Jimmy's birthday's coming soon, and he's turning 18, so he walks up to his father and tells him:

-Dad, it's a special day for me, and I might get really drunk, so please, don't beat me up, no matter how wasted I show up after the party.

-OK son, I can understand.

The next day after his birthday Jimmy wakes up covered in bruises. Confused, he walks up to his father again:

-Dad, I thought we had a word!

-Look son. You came home late, you were so drunk you weren't able to aim for the keyhole, so you kicked in the door. But I didn't say anything. You wanted to eat, but couldn't find a pan, so you broke all the plates and glasses. I kept silent. You wanted to watch TV, but couldn't use the remote, so you took the damn TV and threw it out the window. I once again, closed my eyes. But when you took your pants off, took a big shit in the middle of my room, pricked it with toothpicks and said that the hedgehog's sleeping with us tonight, I lost it.