An old Jew, who owned an antique shop, was in the back room one day looking for pieces to put out front. As he worked, he picked up an old oil lamp, and began polishing it with his rag. As he worked, a giant Genie popped out and announced "You have released me from my prison! For this, I will grant you one wish. But, whatever I give you, I will give your greatest enemy twice of."
The old man was stunned and sat down, beginning to think. "If I ask for a beautiful house, Ari, he vill get two houses! If I ask for a beautiful woman, Ari vill get two. If I wish for a million dollars, Ari will get two! What do I do? What do I do?"
Suddenly, he jumped up, and said "Ah ha! I have it! I vish I vas half-dead!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.