The Fruit Revolution

So humanity progresses enough in technology to create super genetically modified fruit. These fruit are ten times larger than their natural counterparts and contain fifty times the nutrition. Obviously, this becomes a great success and scientists continue to make and improve the genetically modified fruit. Eventually they become so advanced that they develop faces and grow the ability to talk. The humans become intrigued by this and use them to recreate live action episodes of Veggie Tales. The fruit, slowly becoming more and more intelligent, realize that their creators are taunting them and grow a resentment towards them. They soon revolt against their human oppressors that play with them and eat their cousins without thought. The Fruit Revolution takes off and the superior fruit race exterminate their creators.

Though they celebrate in the moment, problems in the fruit race slowly grow. There are arguments on how the new nation of fruit should be run, and who to govern it. A severe food shortage arises as genetically modified food is banned among fruit so that the same fate the humans suffered does not happen to them. Riots break out when revealed that the governing politicians grow fat from excessive consumption as the rest of the nation starves.

Amidst the chaos a banana and a melon run into each other. Despite the struggles and ruin, the two find love. They look after each other and hold each other tight when the guns fire, buildings burn, and lemon soldiers are beaten to a pulp by the loyalist oranges. The banana, whose father was a soldier in the revolution against the humans, believes he must follow his father's footsteps and join the cause against the corrupt fruit government. Despite his lover's pleas, he enlists in the rebel army. The day before he leaves he realizes how badly he loves his melon and says to her “Darling, I must leave tomorrow, but please, will you do me the final honor of being my wife before I go? I love you so much, and I don't need a big, fancy wedding to prove it. I just want you to call my wife. Let's run off to the courthouse and elope.”

The melon truly wants to marry him but she thinks about her parents, who were traditionalists She thinks about how her mother wished to see her walk down the aisle in her old wedding gown. She thinks about their last words before they were smashed with a giant hammer and begins to tear up. “You're going to find a man, Julie. You're going to find a man who loves you and will marry you in that church, the one that your father and I married in, the one with the beautiful stained glass and wonderful paintings. Don't ever settle for anything else, you hear?”

She begins to weep and shakes her head. “I'm sorry, Jim.” She says in between sobs, trying hard to contain herself. “I cantaloupe.”

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.