They haven't been able to catch the ball or even score a single touchdown because they have an atrocious quarterback. One night, the Lions manager is watching the news when he sees footage of the Bosnian Civil war. While he is watching, he sees a rebel fighter run up to a government building and toss a football sized bomb perfectly into a 4th story window.
"That's just the guy I need." says the manager, so he goes through multiple channels to find a way to contact this man. When he finally does, the man gladly moves himself to Detroit so that he can play for the Lions. Because of the new quarterback, the Lions have the best quarterback ever, winning game after game and eventually winning the Super Bowl with an amazing last second diving throw. After winning, the quarterback asks to use a team phone so that he can call his mother
"Mom" he says "I just won the Super Bowl!
"What is wrong with you?" his mother replies "do you think I care about your stupid football game?"
"But mom..."
"I don't care what you have to say! Your brother was stabbed at the market yesterday! your uncle almost died because of a crossfire from a gunfight! your sister was assaulted in broad daylight at the marketplace yesterday!" She angrily ranted
"I'm sorry mom" The young man tried to say
"NO APOLOGY IS GOOD ENOUGH! I don't care how many Super Bowls or games you win... I will never forgive you for moving us to Detroit!"
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