The Cheerio Story

So everybody knows that there are 3 types of Cheerios in the world. There is the Blueberry Cheerio, the Strawberry Cheerio, and the Honeynut Cheerio. We also know, to date and mate, the Cheerios are limited to only Cheerios of their own kind, ie. Strawberry Cheerios must date and mate with only Strawberry Cheerios and so on and so forth.

Our story starts with that of a young male Honeynut Cheerio, let's call him George. Now George is quite the smart guy who has graduated from the most prestigious university and the top of his class with a Ph.D in Science. Now, you'd think a Cheerio like him would be extremely happy with himself, but he wasn't. Poor George was very lonely. Wherever he went, whomever he met, he never truly connected with a female Honeynut Cheerio. Poor George was about to give up on love before he saw her.

She was a beautiful Strawberry Cheerio (let's call her Sarah) and George knew the moment he saw her that she was the one, but there was one problem, she was a Strawberry Cheerio and he was a Honeynut Cheerio. The laws of their world didn't allow this, but he had a plan. George was a smart guy and knew what to do. He spent day and days working on a machine, and before you know it, he created the CNA Modulator. Now with this machine, George could change his CNA to that of another Cheerio. George hopped in the machine and flicked it on. The lights whizzed and hummed and George was transforming. His body was hit with electricity and he was feeling intense pain, like hot knives being thrusted into his body, gouging at his insides. Then it was done. George emerged a Strawberry Cheerio.

Elated, George ran to the Sarah to profess his love for her, but before he could, she ran away screaming. Now, George is confused to what happened, but then he figured it out: he still smelled like a Honeynut Cheerio. Now, Sarah was also a smart Cheerio and duplicated the same machine within hours, changing her CNA to that of a Blueberry Cheerio. Not wanting to give up, George jumped into his machine and turned it back on. Once again, the pain was unbearable as his body was struck with electricty that seared his cells and fried his insides, and it was done. He was now a Blueberry Cheerio.

He ran and ran after this Sarah, his love, but before he could reach her, she started running away. Defeated, George cried. He didn't know what to do. She ran away a second time and changed her CNA to that of a Honeynut Cheerio. George wept and wept, but couldn't put her out of his mind. He knew he had to be with her. Not wanting to give up, George made a pact with himself: he'll change himself one more time before giving up. If she doesn't accept him then, he'll have to settle with some other Honeynut Cheerio girl. George hopped back into the machine and turned it on one last time. Electricty arced over his body and the pain was immense. His body was screaming with exhaustion and pain as it is his 3rd time transforming. From the steam, George emerged a Honeynut Cheerio.

He ran and ran and ran all the way to Sarah and before she could run, he stopped her and professed his love. He said that she was the only one for him. No other girl mattered. He changed himself 3 times for her. No one could compare to her. She was always on his mind. She was the only girl that he could ever love and it would mean the world if they could go out together. Sarah, swept off her feet, said yes.

Fast forward 2 years, the couple have had an amazing time together and are going to the Cereal Bowl (like Cinderella's Ball, get it?) for a dance before their wedding next month. They dance throughout the night, and after their 14th song, they're tired and parched, so George goes to get some drinks at the Punch Bowl.

There's quite a long line, but he doesn't mind waiting to get drinks. A couple minutes pass and he wonders how his girl is doing, so he looks over to her on the dancefloor and who else is there but the Lucky Charms guy. Even though he couldn't hear what he was saying, he saw in that little leprechaun's eyes that he wanted a touch her Lucky Charms. Furious, George was going to rush back and beat him off, but he couldn't. He couldn't return back with no drinks. He was going to look like a loser in front of his girl, so he waited... Very aggravated...

A couple minutes pass and he looks over again, this time Captain (Admiral) Crunch is over there ogling her booty and her booty. Quite enraged, he was going to run over and bowl the captain over, but he couldn't. He still did not have the drinks. So he waited... Furious...

A couple more minutes pass and he looks over again, and whole else but Tony the Tiger. Tony is putting his moves on his girl and they're going ggrrrrrrrrrrrreat!!! He's getting so close to her... He's getting so close... George is so aggravated, he doesn't know what to do. He wants to run there and push him off, but he can't he doesn't have the drinks, but his girl is falling for a tiger, but he doesn't have the drinks, the leprechaun is almost has her Lucky Charms in hand, but he doesn't have the drinks, Captain Crunch almost has his hands on her booty, but he doesn't have the drinks.

Teeming with anger, he looks back at the bowl and notices that there is no punchline.