The Boise Bear (must be read out loud)

A bear walks into a bar in Boise, Idaho, after a long winter hibernating in the mountains. He sits down on a stool at the front of the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell beer to bears in bars in Boise."

The bear, looking surprised, takes a deep breath and says "Look, all I wants is a beer, and I'm outta here." Again, the bartender tells him, "We don't sell beer to bears in bars in Boise."

So the bear is a little irate at this point, and he stands up at his full 7 ft height and says "Mister, I been hibernating all winter. I come to this bar every year for my first beer. Been comin' here for years, and this ain't never happened before. Now gimme my damn beer!"

But the answer is the same. "Sorry, we just don't sell beer to bears in bars in Boise."

So by this time the bear is pissed. He looks down the bar and sees a woman half-passed out on her stool, drooling on the bar, barely able to keep one eye on the action. He says "Alright, buddy, if you don't gimme my first beer, I'm going to make that lady my first meal!"

But the bartender shakes his head and says "Sorry. We just don't sell beer to bears in bars in Boise."

So of course the bear goes down to the end of the bar and gobbles the lady down, cigarettes, cocktail glass and all. He pounds his fist on the bar and says "Bartender, you better gimme that damn beer!"

The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve drug addicts."
The bear says, "Drug addicts?"

"Yeah," replies the bartender "That was the barbiturate."