A guy walks into a doctor's office. When the doctor walks in, the guy says, "Doc, I threw my arm out playing tennis. I just need a shot of cortisone."
"No problem," says the doctor, "but first, I need to take a urine sample."
"Why on Earth for?"
"Well," the doctor explains, "We have a new urinalysis machine that can diagnose any known ailment just from your urine. So we just need a sample."
"I don't have to go now," the guy says. "Can I bring you a sample in the morning?"
"Of course," the doctor tells him, handing him a small jar.
That night, the guy tells his family what the doctor told him, and they all have a good laugh. They decide to pull a prank on the doctor. First, the guy pees in the jar. Then his wife adds her own urine. Then his teenage daughter. Then they collect some from the family dog. As if that weren't enough, the guy adds a few drops from the oil dipstick of his car. Finally, that night, the guy jerks off in the cup. He caps it tightly, shakes it up to mix it thoroughly, and takes it to the doctor in the morning.
The doctor takes the cup into his office, and returns a few minutes later with a stack of printouts and a grim expression. "Give it to me straight, doc," the guy says, barely able to contain a smile. "What does your computer say?"
"Bad news, I'm afraid," says the doctor. "Your wife is screwing the mailman, you daughter has the clap, your dog has heartworm, your car is about to throw a rod, and if you don't stop jacking off, your tennis elbow is never going to get any better."
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