10. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is
worth living anymore.
9. We're cruising at an altitude of... ah, hell, I don't know.
8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button
does?
7. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Just kidding.
6. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em
coming!
5. This is...uh...this is...uh...your...hmm. I seem to have lost
my memory.
4. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine
sound funny to you?
3. Welcome aboard flight 109 -- you bunch of jerks!
2. Good God, Steve! We're going to crash! Oops -- is this
intercom on?
1. We'll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or another
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