Technology for Country Folk

1. LOG ON:


Makin a wood stove hotter.


2. LOG OFF:


Don't add no more wood.


3. MONITOR:


Keepin an eye on the wood stove.


4. DOWNLOAD:


Gettin the farwood off the truk.


5. MEGA HERTZ:


When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.


6. FLOPPY DISC:


Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.


7. RAM:


That thar thing whut splits the farwood.


8. HARD DRIVE:


Gettin home in the winter time.


9. PROMPT:


Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.


10. WINDOWS:


Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.


11. SCREEN:


Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.


12. BYTE:


Whut them dang flys do.


13. CHIP:


Munchies fer the TV.


14. MICRO CHIP:


Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.


15. MODEM:


Whut cha did to the hay fields.


16. DOT MATRIX:


Old Dan Matrix's wife.


17. LAP TOP:


Whar the kitty sleeps.


18. KEYBOARD:


Whar ya hang the dang keys.


19. SOFTWARE:


Them dang plastic forks and knifs.


20. MOUSE:


Whut eats the grain in the barn.


21. MAINFRAME:


Holds up the barn roof.


22. PORT:


Fancy Flatlander wine


23. ENTER:


Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"


24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY:


Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.


25. MOUSE PAD:


That hippie talk fer the rat hole.