Talking Dog for Sale

A man was driving down a road and came across a sign in front of a house reading "Talking Dog for Sale." Out of curiosity he stops at the house and knocks on the door. An old man answers. The man asks, "I saw your sign saying that you have talking dog for sale." The old man replies, "I do. You want to meet him? He's in the back yard." The man says "Sure I'd like to meet him." The man goes into the back yard and sees a dog sitting there. He walks up the dog and asks "What's up dog?" The dog looks up at him and says "Nothing, whats up with you?" The man astonishingly says "Holly shit you can talk! So what's your story dog?" The dog replies "Well when I was a pup my owner discovered that I could talk. The CIA somehow found out and I was recruited, trained in multiple languages, and started going on missions. Sometimes they would place me in a room during multinational negotiations and when the Americans left I would stay behind, spy, and report my findings. Some of shit they said would amaze you. They would talked about everything from the negotiations, to drugs, and even who they were fucking. The CIA would also drop me in war zones pretending to be a stray. I would track down the enemy and listen to what targets they plan on attacking. Again I would report my findings. I thwarted many attacks and terror plots. I can't believe how close most of them were to completing the attacks here on our soil. After years of service I decided to retire and ended up with my original owner here. A crazy life I've had and I have stories of my experiences to tell for years." The man exciting says "Wait there! I'm going to talk to your owner." He goes up to the old man and says "Man that dog is awesome! How much do you want for him?" The old man says "Twenty five dollars and he's yours." The man puzzled asks "Why such a low price?" The old man replies "Cause that dog is a fucking liar. He's never even left the backyard."