Steve Wright IV

When I fly, I go Air Bizarre. It's a good airline. You buy a one-way round trip ticket. You leave any Monday and they bring you back the previous Friday... That way you still have the weekend.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

I broke a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I'll let you have the pen!

I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges. I remember one time when I wore it. When I got out of the swimming pool nobody could go swimming until I came back.

The other day, when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room temperature.

I have a very rare photograph. It shows Houdini locking his keys in his car.

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