The Penguin Collector

So, there's this guy. This guy collects penguins. He doesn't collect penguin statues or toys or anything, he collects real, living penguins. Penguins of all sorts, Emperor Penguins, King Penguins, Little Penguins, African Penguins, all the penguins.

Now, these penguins live all over his house. In his bathtub, sink, toilet, fridge, freezer, penguins everywhere. His house is practically bursting with these penguins.

The mans wife is obviously not impressed with the amount of penguins her husband has.

"Honey," she said to him, "You have got to get rid of all these penguins. We have no room to live. We can no longer afford to have nice things, not only do the penguins ruin everything we own, but we can hardly afford to feed the penguins. You have to get rid of them."

"I can't do that!" The man replied. "I love these penguins. They are like family to me!"

"Either they go, or I go!" She stated.

After pondering this ultimatum for a while the man decides that he does, indeed, love his wife more than all his penguins put together. But what to do with all these penguins?

"Why don't you donate them to the County Zoo?" His wife asked.

"Great idea! I'll call them tomorrow."

"Honey, you better call them now. I cannot go one more day with these penguins living here."

The man, saddened by his failed attempt to keep the penguins at least one more day, begrudgingly picks up the phone.

"Hello, County Zoo, how may I help you?" Spoke the cheery voice on the phone.

The man took a deep breath and spoke slowly.

"Hello, I'd like to speak to the person in charge of accepting donations please."

The receptionist on the other end of the line could hear the sadness in his voice.

"I'll connect you right away sir"

The phone was silent for a minute. The man hoped that no one would be connected, that perhaps he could have one last day with the penguins.

"Hello, County Zoo donation office. How may I assist you?"

The man's heart sank "Hello, I have a very large collection of penguins I would like to donate."

"Penguins?"

"Yes, penguins."

"Like, real penguins?"

"Yes, real penguins."

"That's fantastic!!" The donation coordinator exclaimed "We have been trying to get penguins here for a long time! We have an area all set up, but no penguins to live there!"

The man smiled to himself. This person seemed very excited to get these penguins. At least they would be going to a happy home and they wouldn't be too far away so he could go visit.

"My wife says I need to get rid of them today"

"Fantastic! Come on down anytime, we will be waiting!"

It was settled. The many attached his trailer to his truck and started loading up the penguins. After spending an hour counting the penguins to make sure he had them all the man closed the trailer door and stared to drive to the County Zoo. The man got about halfway there and sure enough he got a flat tire.

"Damn it!!" The man thought to himself. "The County Zoo is almost closed, how will I explain to my wife if I come home with all these penguins."

It was at that point that the man saw another truck coming down the road. He flagged the truck down.

"Sir you have to help me! I need to get these penguins to the County Zoo. They are about to close soon and my wife will kill me if I don't take these penguins to the County Zoo today."

"You want me to take these penguins to the County Zoo?" replied the stranger.

"Yes! Please! I'll pay for you to take them to the County Zoo. How about $500. Is that enough for you to take them?"

The stranger took the money.

"Yeah, that should be enough."

So the two men loaded up the strangers truck with all the penguins and off the stranger went.

After a while the man finally got his truck fixed and off he went to the County Zoo. When he got there though the County Zoo was closed. The man started banging on the gate and yelling until a security guard showed up.

"What is your problem?" Scoffed the security guard.

"Please tell me, did my penguins arrive safely, are they all there? May I see them in their new home?" Pleaded the man.

"Penguins? We were excepting some penguins, but we never got them."

"WHAT!?!" The man was furious!! "That jerk stole all my penguins and my $500 was a rude person!!"

"Sorry, sir."

The man needed a way to blow off steam. He decided to drive around for a while before going home to his wife.

After, maybe, 30-40 minutes the man sees the stranger from earlier. There he was. Walking down the street with a row of penguins following him, far as the eye can see.

The man slammed on his breaks.

He hopped out of his car.

He approached the stranger and said,

"Hey! Jerk! How dare you! How dare you steal my $500 and not take the penguins to the County Zoo!"

"Oh." Said the stranger. I already took them to the County Zoo. I had money left over so I was taking them to the movie theatre."