Some Tim Vine jokes...

"I tell you what makes my blood boil..... Crematoriums."

"People with guns who say give me your money... you gotta hand it to them."

"So I went to my local department store and said I cant decide whether to buy this bed or not. He said do you want to sleep on it? I said of course I do."

"I refuse to work in the subway. Its beneath me."

"I met this girl called Ena. Everytime I see her I say Hi Ena and she laughs her head off."

"I cant remember my homing pigeon's name but am sure it will come back to me."

"Did you know the best selling DVD this year is Poltergeist? Its flying off the shelves."

"So i was reading this book about the history of glue.... I couldn't put it down."

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