So this overweight guy wants to lose a few kilos

He's watching TV one day and sees an ad for weight loss: Lose weight fast & cheap! Deciding he'll give it a go, he rings the number.

The lady on the other end asks him how much weight he wants to lose.
"I want to lose 5 kg" the man replies.
"Okay, just give me your credit card number and address and a representative will be with you shortly."

After giving her his details, he waits a couple of hours until he hears a knock at the door. Standing outside is a gorgeous, completely naked woman.

"If you can catch me, you can have me," she whispers seductively. Pushing past him into the house, she begins to run around playfully. The fat man chases her as quickly as he can but his overweight condition means he is barely managing to crawl by the time he catches her and does what he wants with her.

Afterwards, the woman says "Quick, check the scales!" and sure enough, he's lost 5 kg.

The next day he rings up again and says "I want to lose 10 kg!" so he gives them his credit card number and waits. Soon there is another knock at the door and this time an even more beautiful woman is standing there, yet again completely naked.

"If you can catch me, you can have me," she mouths seductively as she runs into the house. This one is even faster than the last one and the man is about to collapse when he finally grabs her and does what he wants with her.

Afterwards she says "Quick, check the scales!" and sure enough he's lost 10 kg.

The next day he once again rings up and says "I want to lose 15 kg!"
The woman on the other line says "Sir, we don't recommend that much weight loss at a time as it can be very dangerous!"
The man says "No, no it's fine," and gives her his credit card number.

A few hours later there is a knock at the door. The man opens it up and standing outside is a gorilla with a sign on its chest saying:

"If I catch you, I'm going to fuck you"