So there's this kid and he loves Tractors...

So there's this kid, and he loves Tractors. Like, lots. He's got Tractor wallpaper with Tractor posters, Tractor bedsheets, his shelves are covered in Tractor models and he wear a denim jacket all covered in Tractor patches. And one day this kid (let's call him Dave) is walking home from school when he spies the new Crop-Master 5000, the most advanced Tractor in the world, sitting in the field near his house.
Naturally Dave has to take a closer look. So he breaks into the field and wanders over to the Tractor, keeping an eye out for the farmer as he does so. When he gets closer, Dave can hardly believe his eyes, this thing is beautiful, sleek and powerful with big yellow wheels and a full leather seat. Trying the door, Dave realises the cabin is open, and so he sits inside the Tractor for a little while when he realises that the key is still in the ignition!
Hardly containing himself, Dave just can't resist. He turns on the Tractor, puts it in gear, and starts trundling about. Now, I don't know if you fully understand but this is a big thing for Dave. This is like all of Dave's christmasses and birthdays all come at once.
So Dave is having a whale of a time when all of a sudden, out comes the Farmer! And in a thick Somerset accent he yells, "what you doin' in there, boy! Get the hell out of my Tra'er! You can't drive that you're rubbish get out of it!"
Dave is mortified and runs all the way home. Out of the field, down the road, round the corner and into his house. He runs past his mother, straight up to his room and falls on to his bed. Through the haze of tears after many hours of crying he eventually gets up and sees the Crop-Master 5000 poster opposite his bed... "Nothing will make me feel like that again!" he cries, "I'll make sure of it!" and he tears the poster off the wall. In a fit of rage he destroys every last piece of Tractor memorabilia he owns, even down to tearing the patches off his favorite denim jacket. Dave then becomes a recluse, and, save for school, doesn't leave his room for over seven years.
Eventually his mother has had enough and she goes to Dave to talk some sense in to him. "Dave" she says, "I know you're still upset about what happened with the farmer, but he's apologised and you need to move on with your life. Please, for me, and for your father. Go out, find some friends, get a job, just do something. Please?"
So, wanting to make his mother happy, Dave pulls on his old denim jacket, which, by now is way too small and full of holes. And he walks to the pub.
When he gets there, he pushes the door open and is immediately greeted by a thick waft of Cigarette smoke. Coughing, he wanders up to the bar. "Pint of lager please." "Ay lad." Dave sits and, struggling to get comfortable on the rickety old stool, surveys his surroundings. The barman brings him his drink and Dave pays for it, then, after taking a swig. He lets out a sigh, and all the smoke in the room clears.
The barman is startled, to say the least. "What on earth was that?!" "What?" replies Dave. "The smoke! It all just vanished!" "Oh" chuckles Dave, "I'm an ex Tractor fan."