So there are these two midgets that win the lottery...

And what do two midgets do with that much money? They go to Vegas of course. I mean they spared no expense: penthouse suite at the Wynn, Steak and Lobster for every meal, bottle after bottle of Dom Perignon, high stakes gambling and all the finest shows. After a couple of days living this decadent lifestyle the midgets said to themselves: We should find a couple of attractive ladies here in Vegas that wouldn't mind being treated by a couple of filthy rich midgets! So they did, and I tell ya, they turned it on: 5 star restaurants, front row seats to Celine Dion, helicopter trips over the strip; it was magnificent. So finally at the end of the night each midget retired with his lady friend to their respective suites, excited about what was about to happen. The first midget was very eager, but alas, he had a little too much to drink and had the "whiskey dick" and was unable to perform. In his disappointment he hears noises coming from his friend's suite. Putting his ear to the wall, he clearly hears grunts coming from the next room: "ONE, TWO, THREE... Unphmp!!! ONE, TWO, THREE... Unphmp!!! ONE, TWO, THREE... Unphmp!!!" Mad at himself he passes out till morning. At breakfast the next morning after the ladies were gone, his buddy was the first one to break the ice. "How did it go last night?" he says. "Not good," his friend replied "had too much to drink and couldn't perform, but from the sound of it you sure had a good time!" His friend cast his eyes down, ashamed and said, "Man, I couldn't even get up on the bed!"