So, I was a pallbearer at a funeral

I was once a Pallbearer at a funeral in Wisconsin during the winter and it was cold as shit with alot of snow and ice on the ground. As we were carrying the coffin down the stairs, one of the pallbearers slipped and fell down which caused all of us to lose our grip and the coffin fell onto the icy sidewalk.

The thing is, it didn't just sit there on the ground but it started sliding down the front walk (the church was on a hill, in the middle of the town) and it went out the front gate. Now we are all chasing this coffin down the street and hill but the damn thing just kept picking up speed and momentum and we couldn't catch up to it.
At the bottom of the hill there was a drugstore and this coffin slid up the handicapped ramp and through the front door and slid right down the front aisle to the Pharmacy counter where it hit with some force. When it did that, the coffin lid popped open and the body flew forward against the counter, much to the dismay of the pharmacist and his employees.

Then the cadaver looked at the pharmacist and asked "Excuse me sir, do you have something to stop this coffin?"