So I moved into the country...

far away from civilization. At first I enjoyed the solitude; the city was over an hour away, and the night sky was magnificent!

Then I started getting lonely. It was a relief when, one afternoon, a knock came at the door.

"Ah'm yer naybor frm down t' way. Gonna be a party t'naht, yer invahted," he said.

"Oh, great! This will give me a great opportunity to meet my neighbors!"

"Okay, then," he said, and started to turn away. He turned back and said, "There's gonna be a lotta drinkin' t'naht."

"Hey, I was in college, I can handle my liquor," I replied.

"Okay, then," he said, and started to turn away. He turned back and said, "There's prob'ly gonna be some fightin', too."

"Oh, heck, I was on the Varsity boxing team, I can handle myself."

"Okay, then," he said, and started to turn away. He turned back and said, "There's likely gonna be some wild sex, too."

"Hey," I said, "I was a fraternity boy, I can tell YOU some stories!"

"All raht, then," and turned away.

I said, "By the way, is it formal or informal? What should I wear?"

He said, "Oh, that don't matter, it's jist gonna be the two of us."