So a man is at a fancy restaurant, and he needs to use the bathroom...

...so he pulls the waiter aside and asks to use the bathroom.

"I am sorry, sir," the waiter replied, "but the Men's bathroom is currently unavailable due to plumbing issues. We're working to fix these now."

The man's face turned to one of desperation. "What about the ladies' restroom?"

The waiter's face then turned into one of hesitance. "Well... I suppose so. It's down the hallway, on the left. Just don't press the red button."

Perplexed, but eager to relieve himself, the man made it down the hall and (thankfully) found the ladies' room unoccupied. He immediately got to a stall, sat down and let the deuce drop. After a few moments, he noticed a panel of buttons on the left. Just a few... but one of them was red.

At the top is a brown one. He presses it, and immediately *something starts wiping his ass.* He jumps up to see a mechanical arm with a sensor, going through a wiping motion before retreating into the drain.

Curiosity began to wash over him.

He then sat back down, and pressed the blue button. Some liquid was applied to his buttocks, and then wiped clean. He was, in fact, mildly impressed. And below the blue button, sat the red button.

*It can't be that bad,* he thought. And without hesitation, he pressed the red button. He felt a sharp pain, and immediately passed out.

Upon coming to, he found himself groggy and in dulled, drug-reduced pain. Beside him stood the waiter, eying him with a look of disappointment.

"...what happened?" the main said groggily as he struggled to understand the weird pain in his body.

"You pressed the red button, sir," the waiter replied. "You activated the *tampon remover."*