John and Jake was walking in the woods when John decided to take a leak in a bush. While Jake waited for John to finish his business he heard John screamed and ran to him.
John: "JAKE HELP!"
Jake: "what happened?"
John: "a snake bit my d***!"
Jake: "hang on i will call for help"
Jake whips out his cellphone and called a doctor.
Doctor: "hello?"
Jake: "i need help! My friend got bitten by a snake!"
Doctor: "alright, first you need a rope and tie down the part of the body that got bitten so the venom doesn't spread"
Jake: "and then?"
Doctor: "you must suck the part that has been bitten to get the venom out"
Jake: "alright doc"
Jake hangs up his cellphone and looked at John.
John: "what did the doctor say?"
Jake just stayed silent for a few seconds and said
Jake: "he said you are going to die"
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