Scientists have developed a new species of dolphin.

The dolphins seemingly live forever, so long as their diet contains a high degree of enzymes found in aquatic birds. The scientists discovered that baby seagulls were particularly rich in the needed enzyme, so they started feeding them to the dolphins.

A few weeks later, they ran out of seagulls and one of the scientists reluctantly decided they would need to steal birds from the local zoo at night. So they arranged the heist and snuck into the zoo. As one of the scientists was creeping around the grounds, he accidentally fell into the lion pit. Fortunately, the massive beasts were asleep and so he climbed out the other side of the pen and quickly nabbed the birds.

Seeing no easy exit from the aviary, he tiptoed back through the lion encampment and climbed back out. Upon exiting the zoo, their entire party was arrested by a waiting policeman.

"I suppose you're charging us with theft?" one of the scientists asked the cop.

"No," he replied, "you were transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

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