Scheming Irish friends in the wild west

*read this with an irish accent*
Paddy and Maddy decide one day they want to explore the new world. So they get on a boat and travel to America. In New York they get on a train bound for the wild west. Once there, they find themselves having the best of times. But soon they're broke. All they had was either gambled, whored or drunk away.
With their last, they find themselves sitting at the bar in a saloon drinking.
Paddy looks to Maddy and says, "Maddy we're fook'd. We're fookin' broke... What're we gonna do?"
To which Maddy replies, "I've got no fookin' idea Paddy."
No sooner has Maddy replied when the swing-doors of the saloon are flung open and a cowboy walks in. He coolly walks up to the bar, takes a head out of the sack he is carrying and places it on the counter. The barman puts the head under the counter, opens the register, takes some money from it, grabs a bottle from the shelf and hands it all to the cowboy.
Paddy and Maddy see this and curiosity gets the better of them. So Paddy asks the barman, "What the fook was that all about?"
"My parents were killed by a bunch of indians. So anytime someone brings me an indian's head I give them a hundred bucks and a bottle of Jack's finest."
With this seeming like the end to their troubles, they storm out and jump on some horses. They travel over hills and through valleys untill they find themselves on a ridge. Down in the valley, they spot a lone shaman by a river. Before Maddy could say anything Paddy is chasing the man down, knife in hand, tackles him from his horse and starts hacking at the poor soul's neck.
As all this is happening Maddy spots movement on the ridge, where thousands and thousands of indians come over the ridge, bows and arrows in hand, looking down at the spectacle below.
Maddy shouts: "Paddy, are ya seein' this?!"
And Paddy shouts back, "Not now Maddy, can't ya see I'm busy?!"
"Paddy, ya gotta look up and see this!"
"Fook off Maddy, I'm busy!"
"For fook sake! Look up man!"
Paddy finally looks up, sees the horde and still cutting, shouts to Maddy, "Ya know what this means?!"
To which Maddy replies, "Aye... We're gonna be fookin' millionaires!!!"


First time I ever wrote this down. Can't remember we're I came apon it. I always tell it after a whole lot of beers. Works best if you tell the whole thing in an Irish accent and mimic some of the actions. Might be a bit long but always gets a good laugh.