Rules For Being a Superhero

Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., The Incredible Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

Don't call yourself by someone else's real name: e.g., Super Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

Don't be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman, Captain Invincible on a good day.

But don't labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g.,Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Sweetiepie.

Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenital hole-in-the-heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.

Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.

Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.