Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.
The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, and for hundred bucks I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."
The old lady looked surprised, but didn't say a word.
The old man continued, "For 300 bucks I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for 500 bucks I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."
The old lady still says nothing, but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled 500 note and holds it up.
"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man.
"Get serious," she replies. "I want it five times in the rocking chair!"
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