Roberto ran into his friend Juan the other day....

Roberto ran into his friend Juan the other day. Juan noticed that Roberto had two black eyes.


“Roberto, how did you get those black eyes?”


“Well Juan, you know how I’ve been attending that new church? Two Sundays ago I went to service and there was a beautiful behemoth of a woman sitting in the pew in front of me wearing a very nice sun dress. Everything was going normally. The pastor told us to stand up, we stood up. He told us to sit down, we sat down. After 20 minutes he told us to stand up and I noticed that the women’s dress had worked its way into her ass crack. Being the thoughtful guy I am, I casually reached over and plucked her dress from the crevasse it had become lodged in. As soon as she felt her dress move, the woman turned around and punched me right in the eye!”


“Ouch!” said Juan. “That must have hurt! But how did you come by the second black eye?”


“Well Juan, the very next Sunday I returned to church. This time I took my cousin Manny with me. Sure enough, the same woman was sitting directly in front of us. I promised myself that no matter what happened I was not going to let last week’s incident happen again. The pastor told us to stand up, we stood up. He told us to sit down, we sat down. After some time he told us to stand up and sure enough that women’s dress had migrated back into her ass crack. Before I could say anything my cousin Manny reached up and plucked the dress from its prison! Quick as lightning I extended my hand and shoved that dress right back where it came from, shouting ‘Put it back in!’”


“Roberto, I need to find a new church. I’m not allowed back there anymore.”