Redneck Census Form!

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form:


Last name: _______________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_)Billy-Bob
(_)Billy-Joe
(_)Billy-Ray
(_)Billy-Sue
(_)Billy-Mae
(_)Billy-Jack


What does everyone call you?
(_)Booger
(_)Bubba
(_)Junior
(_)Sissy
(_)Other____________


Age:____ (if unsure,guess)


Sex:____ M ____ F ____Not sure


Shoe size:____ Left ____ Right


Occupation:(Check appropriate box)
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Unemployed
(_)Dirty Politician
(_)Preacher


Spouse's Name:_____________


2nd Spouse's Name:_______________


3rd Spouse's Name:_______________


Lover's Name:_______________


Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box)
(_)Sister
(_)Brother
(_)Aunt
(_)Uncle
(_)Cousin
(_)Mother
(_)Father
(_)Son
(_)Daughter
(_)Pet


Number of children living in the home:_____


Number of the children living in the shed:_____


Number that are yours:_____


Mother's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)


Father's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)


Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade commpleted)


(Check appropriate box)
Total number of vehicles you own:___
Number of vehicles that still crank:___
Number of vehicles in front yard:___
Number of vehicles in the back yard:___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks:___


Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____truck
____bedroom
____bathroom
____kitchen
____shed


Model and year of your pickup:196_


Do you have a gun rack?
(_)Yes (_)No; If no, please explain:


Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer
(_)The Globe
(_)TV Guide
(_)Soap Opera Digest
(_)Rifle and Shotgun


Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:___
Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:____


How often do you bathe?
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable


Color of eyes:
Left_____ Right_____


Color of hair:
(_)Blond
(_)Black
(_)Red
(_)Brown
(_)White
(_)Clairol


Color of teeth:
(_)White
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A


Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man


How far is your home from a paved road?


(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)just a whoop-and-a-holler
(_)road?