Quiz for Men


1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:


a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town


2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:


a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers


3. You time your orgasm so that:


a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don't miss SportsCenter


4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:


a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about


5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:


a) The best part of the experience
b) The second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra


6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:


a) No concern of yours
b) Not a problem - she can join your gym
c) A conservative estimate


7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:


a) A myth
b) An oxymoron
c) A moron


8. Foreplay is to sex as:


a) Appetizer is to entree
b) Priming is to painting
c) A queue is to an amusement park ride


9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?


a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."


10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:


a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) Is uptight and a waste of time
c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

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