Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss them.
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
HIM: "Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?"
HER: "Because you're never home when it happens."
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