Politically Correct terms for Guys

* He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.* He is not quiet; he is a Conversational Minimalist.* He does not have a fabulous rear end; he has achieved Buttocks Perfection.* He is not stupid; he suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.* He does not get lost all the time; he discovers Alternative Destinations.* He is not balding; he is in Follicle Regression.* You do not buy him a drink; you initiate an Alcohol-For-Conversation Exchange.* He does not fart and belch; he is Gastronomically Expressive.* His jeans are not too tight; he is Anatomically Under circulated.* He is not a redneck; he is a Genetically Related American.* You do not kiss him; you become Facial Conjoined.* He is not a cradle robber; he prefers Generational Differential Relationships.* He does not get falling down drunk; he becomes Accidentally Horizontal.* He does not act like a total ass; he develops a Case Of Rectal Cranial Inversion.* He is not short - he is Anatomically Compact.* He does not have a rich daddy; he is a Recipient Of Parental Asset Infusion.* He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a Vehicular Addiction.* He does not have a hot body; he is Physically Combustible.* He is not unsophisticated; he is Socially Malformed.* He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from Reverse Bulimia.* He does not hog the blankets; he is Thermally Unappreciative.* He is not a sex machine; he is Romantically Automated.* He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has Swine Empathy.* You do not undress him with your eyes; you have an Introspective Pornographic Moment.* He is not afraid of commitment; he is Monogamously Challenged.