Political Correctness For Kids - Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's passage-restrictive. - Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit social speed bumps. - You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from rebellious follicle syndrome. - No one's tall anymore. They're vertically enhanced. - You're not shy. You're conversationally selective. - You don't talk a lot. You're just abundantly verbal. - It's not called gossip anymore. It's transmission of near-factual information. - The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's digestively challenged. - Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an out-of-notebook experience. - You're not sleeping in class; you're rationing consciousness. - You don't have smelly gym socks; you have odor-retentive athletic footwear. - You weren't passing notes in class. You were participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations. - You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.
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