Political Correctnes

- Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's just "passage-restrictive."- Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."- You're not late; you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."- You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."- No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."- You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."- You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."- It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."- The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."- No one fails a class anymore; he's merely "passing-impaired."- You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit- delayed."- These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."- Your locker isn't overflowing with junk; it's just "closure-prohibitive."- Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of- notebook experience."- You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."- You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odour-retentive athletic footwear."- You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."- You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.