Piano Man

A pianist responds to an ad for a Piano Player wanted at a swanky bar. The manager interviewing him asks the pianist to play something.

The pianist plays and sings, and it's beautiful. The manager is really impressed. The pianist admits that he wrote and composed it himself. The manager asks what the song is called and the pianist replies, "Fuck you and your mother, you shit eating whore".

Clearly upset by the title of the song, the manager attempts to regain his composure and asks the pianist, "um, do you know any other songs?"

The pianist starts right in on the most beautiful piece the manager had ever heard, and by the time the pianist finished, the manager had tears in his eyes.

Afraid to ask, the manager asked what that one was called. The pianist said it was one of the first songs he ever wrote, and it was called "Suck my hairy white ass, you commie fuck!"

Clearly impressed with the skill of the pianist but fearful for the effect the song titles might have on his business the manager makes a deal with the player.

"I will hire you, and pay you with $100 bar tab per night and 5% of the door, but you're not allowed to tell anyone what your songs are called."

The pianist agrees, just happy to have a gig.

So he's playing the first night, really enjoying himself, drinking for free and all of the patrons are enjoying the music as well. At some point, very drunk, the pianist needs to go relieve himself so takes a break from playing.

When he returns from the bathroom, a beautiful woman approaches him and quietly asks him, "Do you know your dick is out and everyone can see it?"

The piano player's eyes get wide, and he excitedly replies, "Know it!? I fucking *wrote it*!"